It's been a while

July 27th, 2012

On Wednesday February 18th, 2009 my life changed for ever. I chose Gastric Bypass to help save my own life. Now, three years and five months later it's becoming harder to maintain the "Mindful Eating" habits that I've since learned. My motivation to exercise and eat right is lacking big time. It seems to me to be the same laundry list of bad habits. Lack of structure in my daily habits, poor food choices, eating at night, and on, and on, and on. So why am I posting? Since post #1, I chose to do this through good times and not so good times. This is one of those not so good times. Structure is very important. My short term goal is to add some structure to my day starting with more exercise and better food choices. Exercise has so many benefits and I have to remember that. Good food choices do as well. Exercise helps mentally and physically by raising your endorphin levels. The better I feel, the more I do. Sugar kills me. Although I'm still in my goal range at 185 lbs I feel like a 321 lb lump of nothing after last nights peanut butter and pretzels at 1:00 AM. Tomorrow I'm headed to Sunapee NH with family. I love walking the Berkhaven loop. It's quite a workout. So let's see where a couple of days of sunshine and exercise take me. I'll let you know.

Gary, can you give me some advice?

I just got another e-mail from a very good friend asking me for some help with their Food Addiction. I get asked that a lot. My short answer is no. I never say it meaning to be rude by not sharing "my secret", because I am, and always will be an addict.

Although I've maintained my body weight of 180 pounds for nearly two years, it's mostly due to medical science. My stomach went from the size of a football to the size of an egg and I simply can't eat as much as I used to. When I eat to much I don't feel good. I choose to feel good 99% of the time, but I do have my weak moments. I am very grateful for the success that I have had, but I am also very aware that I could fall off the wagon at anytime and start gaining weight.

It's easier for me to have a conversation with someone who has had a Gastric Bypass procedure and needs a little helping jump-starting their program again. It's usually someone who is many more years out than me. Although they may appreciate my help, I appreciate theirs much more. They help keep me on track.

As for my friend who recently asked me for help I can only suggest that they read my previous posts. I am always very open and honest. I know how they feel, and I do feel their pain. I have lost and gained more than a thousand pounds in my adult life. I struggled with the all of the feelings that go with being obese since I was in junior high school and shopping in the "husky" section. I had my GB after a lot of thought and prayers, but as I said before, I am and always will be an addict. I fight it every day. As far as my food addiction goes I'm doing OK...today. On the days that I decide to use all of the tools in my box

As far as deciding upon having a GB procedure, I can give you my thoughts on that. Do the research and decide if it's for you or not.

On February 18th 2009 Gastric Bypass surgery changed my life forever. Why did I do it... because I had lost nearly 1000 lbs by dieting since I was 18 years old only to gain it back, plus more. My higest weight was 321 lbs. I was pre-diabetic, had sleep apnia, glaucoma, high blood pressure, aching jonts, and a ferocious... appetite that was out of control. My Body Mass Index was 44 (morbedly Obese). Since my GB all of the above mentioned complications are gone. I now weigh 180 lbs. I now eat 5 or 6 small healthy meals a day, and excercise moderately. I am posting this to share my story with anyone who is morbidly obese and desperate, and to tell you that there is hope. As they say in all Twelve Step programs, "Take what you want from this and leave the rest." It has been one hell of an amazing journey. I wish you well in yours. GT

One year since my Gastric Bypass

(Weight today: 187 LBS) This Thursday February 18th will be one year since my GB, and Sunday I turn 53 years old. I have to say that the past year has been one of the best of my life. Because of this miracle surgery and a lot of hard work I have lost 134 pounds. Each day is a new adventure. What should I eat, will I make time to exercise, and will I have control over my food addiction today? I'll be honest with you, the answer is not always yes. The important part is that I am always aware of where I have come from, and where I want to go. After I finished my three month training sessions it took a while for me to get up to speed at the gym all by my self. In training I was concentrating on a lot of core work that really helped tighten up some loose areas including my waist, chest, back, shoulders, and butt. Although I had weeks at a time that I was stalled at the same weight, my clothes were getting looser, and eventually the scale would move in the right direction if I increased my exercise and water intake. My daily diet hasn't been a problem. I tend to eat the same foods. Protein shakes with skim milk and fruit (usually a banana) in the morning. I have a yogurt or smoothie between breakfast and lunch, half of a whole wheat wrap of wheat bread sandwich at lunch saving the other half for an afternoon snack or dinner. At night I'll have one or two 60 to 100 calorie puddings (usually sugar free rice or tapioca) or a small bag of Smart food, my favorite indulgence.

I've talked before about the way I am able to listen to my stomach and use it as a tool. When my small pouch is full, it let's you know it is full. the key is eating slowly, and thoughtfully. I'm no longer unable to leave food on my plate. There are many times that I still order or take to much food. Which become leftovers or take-out. My wife enjoys it when we can split an entree, appetizer, or a salad. Portion size is key. Eating a good mix of good carbs and protein is important, as well as avoiding sweets and deserts. I definitely know my food weaknesses and avoid them like the plague.

What I do is very important, but how I think is even more important. That is why I network with other Gastric Bypass people, and also why I keep this blog. This is my reminder system. I often read it from the beginning to the current end and I thank god daily for the wisdom that I have come to find.

If you are reading this and can relate to any of it as a problem in your life, please know that there is hope for a more normal relationship with food. I chose Gastric Bypass. Please make a choice to take control of your food issues. It isn't easy, but it is worth it. I am worth it, and so are you. I'm Gary, and I'm a food addict. Today is a good day. I wish you the very best.

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 (Weight 207 lbs)

It's been 7 months and 21 days since my Gastric Bypass. A few of the benefits are: I no longer take blood pressure medication. I no longer use my c-pap machine to sleep at night. and I no longer weigh 321 pounds. Today I weigh 207 pounds, a loss of 114 pounds. Some of the problems are: Anyone who hasn't seen me in a while doesn't recognize me. (That's OK, sometimes I'll look in a mirror quickly and not recognize myself.) People constantly tell me that I've lost enough weight. Depending on my mood I'll explain my plan to them, or not. My plan is to reach 185 pounds and see how I feel. Since my last post a lot has changed with my body. I see bones, veins, and mussels that I've never seen before. I also see lots of loose skin. I believe I once bragged that I would be the only person in the history of Gastric Bypass that wouldn't have loose skin. Since starting w/ my trainer John McPherson I have improved many parts of my body that were sagging, and needed tightening. I now realize that there is some loose skin that is not going to magically turn into muscle. Sorry for T.M.I. but it's like I'm wearing a vest of loose skin. I am hopeful that the more I work out, the more my muscle will support my loose skin. It's working so far with my "man boobs". A lot of people ask me questions like "How am I dealing with not eating as much as I want anymore."" My diet and my stomach handle that. I am eating a diet low in fat and carbs, and high in protein. When my new smaller stomach gets full, it's full, and it let's you know that you've eaten enough. It also let's you know that if you eat too much your going to feel like there's a watermelon in your plum sized stomach for about 2.5 hours. (I try and avoid that.)

So, basically I feel good. I'm trying to catch the exercise addiction but haven't yet. I do exercise regularly, but not as much as I should, and I tend to eat a lot of the same foods. I have my 6 month check-up on October 1st. (So it's a little late.) I'll have my blood work done, my incisions checked, and my but kicked by my nutritionists but other than that. I really do love my life after Gastric Bypass. If you know someone who is battling obesity please do not hesitate to pass my blog onto them. My name is Gary, I'm a food addict, but today is a good day. Thank you God.

65 lb up-date

(April 24th, 2009 - Weight today: 244 lbs) Just a few stats and thoughts....I haven't been 244 lbs since 1984. I was 27 years old. I traded in another tuxedo yesterday for a smaller size. I've gone from a size 58 tux jacket to a size 50, and from a size 48 waist to a size 40. That will fit me for my next two weddings, then I'll trade down again. (Thanks Kevin). I'm on stage five of my food plan. I basically eat 6 times a day. I aim for high protein and low fat foods. It's a modified "South Beach Diet" w/ smaller portions. Yesterday morning I had 1/2 of a whole wheat English muffin w/ imitation butter spray. Morning snack was a Dannon Light & Fit yogurt. Lunch was a Morning Star Veggie Burger on an Arnold whole wheat pouch. (Took me 40 minutes to eat). Afternoon snack was sugar free Jello pudding, and dinner was 1/4 of a Black Angus Burger without the bun at Casey O'Connors in Mansfield. (Great Burger Rob). For desert I had one Michelob Ultra at Big D's. (OK, that's not on the stage five food plan, so sue me).

Mentally and Physically I'm doing OK. There are a few adjustments that I need to make, and a few things I need to remember every time I eat. I'll sum it up in two words "Slow Down". I keep forgetting that my stomach is the size of a hard boiled egg and it takes two normal persons bites to fill it up. Smaller bites and longer meals are key. I have been losing about one in eight to ten meals. (if you are having GB or are thinking about it, send me a note, I'll explain). It does bum me out when I lose a meal that I was really looking forward to. Ho hum. The meals that give me the hardest time are solid foods like chicken, scallops, steak, etc. I need to remember to enjoy them slowly, and make sure I use fat-free sauce or gravy to make them moist. That way they digest better.

Exercise is still a chore, but as the weather gets warmer I'm enjoying getting out there for my three mile walk around town. At the gym (Canton Club) I'm doing a combination walk/jog. Yesterday I walked a half mile, jogged a mile, and then did a mile on the elliptical. I burnt 400 calories total. Not bad considering I ate 700 calories all day.

I plan on keeping this blog till I reach my goal of 185 lbs. The reason I do it is to be able to look back and see where I've been if I'm ever struggling w/ my weight again. (Yes, even w/ a smaller stomach you can gain weight if you eat to much of the wrong food and stop exercising). I also hope that it may help someone who is overwhelmed by their weight and eating habits. If that's you, please read this from the beginning. I started this journey at 321 lbs. I wish you luck with your journey. GT

1 month after surgery

(Weight 262 lbs) It's been one month since my gastric bypass surgery and I'm feeling very good. I've lost 48 lbs since my first meeting at Tufts on Christmas Eve. I've gone from a 46 inch waistline to a loose 42. The hardest part is to just slow down. I eat my mini meals to fast, and have probably lifted to much weight at my job to fast. When I eat to fast my new stomach lets me know about it. I don't vomit, but feel like I have to. I get the cold sweats, my face gets flushed, and my wife gets nervous. After a little while it passes. Can you imagine taking 30 to 45 minutes to eat 1 cup of food, or 30 minutes to drink a slim fast. That's what I have to do, and I don't mind. I'd much rather be doing this and losing weight instead not having the surgery, loading up on junk food and gaining more weight. I've been walking 2 - 3 miles at a time at the gym or outside or I use the elliptical for 30 minutes at a time. A lot of people ask if I have any regrets. The short answer is no. I studied this procedure enough to know what I was in for, and I'm happy I did it. The long answer is yes. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my food addictions under control and let myself balloon up to 310 lbs again. But, that's all behind me now. The picture above was taken 4 days before my surgery. I can't wait to post a new one, but I'll wait for the 100 lb mark.

Please do not hesitate to ask any questions, and definitely don't hesitate to pass this blog on to anyone who may find comfort in knowing that there is hope. GT