The Waiting

(Weight in picture from 1985, 180 lbs. Weight today, 294 lbs.) I had my last required group meeting at The OCC at Tufts N.E. Medical Center. I also had my second of two required meetings with my Nutritionist Meghan Ariagno, RD, LDN. I was also hoping to get a surgery date yesterday, but did not. (Ho-hum.) I know the surgery will happen in the not to distant future but (I hear a song coming) the waiting is the hardest part. After checking with the OCC office manager Lorraine (I hope that's her name. God she is so funny, and a big Mike Lowell fan) I met with my Nutritionist. Meghan weighed me. I was happy to see that I had lost 15 pounds since the program began five weeks ago. (I have been following the basic South Beach diet.) The required weight loss of 5 - 10 % of your body weight isn't only to show them that you are a dedicated member of the program, but also to lose the fat around your liver and make it easier for the surgeons to operate laparoscopically rather than making a large incision. Meghan and I then discussed my post surgery diet starting from the day of my surgery. Stage 1 - My diet will consist of 1 oz. or water per hour. Stage 2- Clear liquids. 3 oz. of sugar free gelatin and or bouillon consumed 3 times per day, with sips of water or flat diet ginger ale between meals. Stage 3 - 5 meals per day. About 600 calories, 70 grams of protein, and 64+ oz. of fluids. This is the diet I will be discharged from the hospital with. 64+ Oz. of fluids. 60 to 70 grams of liquid protein, skim milk, light yogurts, cottage cheese, egg beaters, and low-fat cream soups. Go back and take a look at the 2nd entry of my blog. Quite a difference compared to the diet I had been following. If you are reading this blog to decide if Gastric Bypass is for you please remember that the diet is just one part of the program. Changing my relationship with food is the outcome that I am aiming for. GB is not a magic bullet, it's one of many tools that I will be using for the rest of my life. At this moment I am very focused. I have begun to give up MINDLESS eating and am beginning MINDFUL eating. I have gone form bags and boxes to single servings. I am going from un-healthy choices to healthy choices. I love not feeling full all the time. I love not feeling guilty and ashamed all the time. I absolutely know that even after the surgery I will still gain weight if I go back to my old habits. My new mantra, "Never Again". Wish me luck.

Planning my Gastric Bypass

I've been preparing for this since the end of last summer (2008). My wife and I agreed that I am a good candidate for GB. After 51 years I know how to lose weight. It's simple. Less input, and more output. It's keeping it off that's been the hard part for me. At 5'9" and nearly 300 lbs I qualify because I'm more than 100 lbs. overweight and I have a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 44. I've always carried my weight fairly well. The biggest comment I get from people when discussing this is "300 lbs. No way". I began by talking with friends and relatives who have had a GB. I asked them about the sudden and drastic change in their eating habits. I asked them how they felt during recovery, and I asked them about their new eating habits. If you think that a GB is the end-all to your weight problems, think again. GB only reduces the size if your stomach. It does not change your bad eating habits. That is something I will be working on as well. My plan is to be a model patient. Go by the book, follow the diet, lose my weight, and get on with my life. God, how many times have I said that before. That's where the GB gives me an advantage. Basically what will happen is the doctor's will reduce the size of my stomach from the size of a football to the size of my thumb. I've watched the procedure , and I've chosen Tufts New England Medical Center to do my surgery. They have been great. It all started with a phone call to the Obesity Consultation Center (OCC) at Tufts. They asked me a few questions, pre-registered me, and then scheduled me for a consultation. So after months of thought I had my first meeting at the OCC on 12/15/08. I didn't sleep the night before because of my anticipation so my 9:00 AM appointment came way too early for this night owl. Never the less I got up, grabbed a cup of coffee, and got there 40 minutes early. I checked in and took a wall seat in the waiting area expecting to take a catnap, but before I knew it they called my name at 8:45. (Dr. Lowney please take note...They took me early.) I met with Dr. Stiles the manager of the OCC. Dr. Stiles spoke with me about my choice of surgery, the Gastric Bypass. She weighed me (310 lbs.), and took a measurement of my chest (56"), and my neck (20"). She took my blood pressure, felt my abdomen and immediately told me that I would have to lose some weight before the surgery to decrease the fat around my liver. That would make it easier for the surgeons to work laparoscopically. She asked me a long list of questions about my medical history. Dr. Stiles went over the pre-qualifications list with me. (I have to lose 5 - 10% of my body weight prior to my surgery date. I have to complete 2 medical visits, meet with my dietitian Meghan Ariagno 1-2 times, meet with my Psychologist Dr. Izzy Greenberg 2 times, meet with my surgeon Dr. Sajani Shah, and complete a new patient orientation called Immersion Day.) I was then sent to the lab for blood work and an EKG. I was done within an hour and sent on my way. I was very excited and full of information.

How did I get here?

(The purpose of this blog is not to make you feel bad for me. I don't. It's also not to have you judge me or my family. I'm proud of every other part of my life. I'm doing this to complete the job. I'm glad I got that off my plate.) So, how did I get to the point of scheduling a Gastric Bypass (GB)? Getting to 321 lbs actually took a lot of work. It took a lot of mindless eating. Have you ever sat in front of the TV with a large bag of popcorn or potato chips, a box, of cookies, or a pint of ice cream? Of course you have. But do you do it all at the same time? Well that's my M/O. I became a habitual nighttime closet eater years ago. Working nights left me with a lot of alone time. The portions grew out of control a long time ago, probably since I moved out of my family's house at age 18. Even before that I always ate everything on my plate and then some. I was always a member of the double lunch club in high school, and I always knew where my mom kept the stash of Hostess thrift store items in the freezer. I can analyze it many ways, but the bottom line is that I am a compulsive over eater. Portions and servings were not a part of my eating vocabulary, bags, boxes, and dozens were. My M/O worked fine when I was single and living alone, but after I got married I became more ashamed of my over eating. On a typical binge I could walk into fast food joint or a convenience store and load up in no time at all dropping $10 - $20. My food (or drug) of choice has always been sweets. I have never met a sweet I didn't like. Chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, and cookies, I love them all and all at the same time. A normal purchase at 7-11 was a pint of Ben & Jerry's peanut butter cup ice cream, a couple of large packs of peanut butter twix, and just before the register, a couple of Mrs. Fields soft cookies (you guessed it, peanut butter). I always managed to eat half on the ride home, and then the other half downstairs alone in front of the TV while everyone slept upstairs. I became good at hiding the empty pints, wrappers, and packages. Not only did I not want my wife to see them, I didn't want to see them the next day either. The guilt hurts a lot. Besides the obvious weight gain I got pretty good at hiding my habit from others, but even if nobody else ever knew, I did, and I was ashamed. So lets call it like it is, "Hi I'm Gary, and I'm a food addict". The good news, I'm sober today, and I now deal with this monkey one day at a time. More later.

Getting ready for my Gastric Bypass

(Weight 299.5 lbs) Long story short, I'm waiting to have a Gastric Bypass (GB). I'm 51 years and 11 months old as of this post and I've been overweight (morbidly obese is the medical term) for at least 40 of those years. I have been thinking about it for a while now, even before my sister had the procedure done two years ago. Diets, you name it...I've done it. I have lost more than fifty pounds at least a half dozen times in my adult life. The problem is, I've always gained the weight back and then some. You may (or may not) be thinking "why not just maintain a proper diet and exercise program"? Well, that's just not my M/O. Obesity runs in my family. Most of my mothers side of the family are (were) BIG people. As far as the passing of the genes go I would have settled for just her good looks but I got the whole package, appetite and all. The rest of the package was the gift. A great Italian heritage, good work ethic, sense of humor...Oh enough about me. I began researching Bariatric Surgery centers in the Boston areas about four months ago. I had spoken to my wife about it just after my sisters GB. She said "absolutely NO WAY" so I proceeded to follow my favorite low carb diet and a regular exercise program. I went from 321 lbs. to 250lbs. With the help of a great coach I lost 71 lbs and I was looking and feeling great. It wasn't long before I fell off the wagon and started to slowly gain the weight back. I swore I wouldn't do it again but I was doing it again. Same M/O, back to bad eating habits, exercise went from the top to the bottom of my schedule and my weight gain frustration was crippling me.